Past, Present, & Future . . .

Past, Present, & Future . . . my life uncensored.


     With this assignment comes great unease and certain personal conflict. The question that I must ask myself is, “Do I speak truth? Or do I paint a great picture of my life?” After all, this is going to be accessed by not only my instructor, but also my peers. Having thought about it some, and I do say some because it didn’t take all that long to come to final conclusion, I choose to be myself and tell it how it is.

     I am an only child in a very unusual family. Some may define it as “dysfunctional”, I choose to refer to it as “structurally challenged”. I mean who has a perfect family anyways? And who is to create the true definition of what an ideal family is to be like? I grew up in central California in a small city named Tulare, where I managed to fall into the trap that so many young people do, drugs, alcohol, and the wrong crowds. Some might say it was only a result of my home life, I choose to think of it as learning life’s lessons too young. I moved to Oxnard to live with my grandma when I was 17. I managed to pull my grades up and make positive changes . . . for a while. As luck would have it, I fell into the same routine as I had grown accustomed to, chaos. However, something did change some years later for me. It wasn’t me getting married or my career change. This time it was different, I had found meaning, purpose, I found church.

     Most people think that finding “religion” makes you a perfect person. I disagree. It helped me to gain a new perspective for life. After all the struggles with certain vices, horrible decisions and time spent incarcerated. I have finally come to a place of personal redemption and clarity. In the past three months I have obtained my high school diploma, finished a semester of summer school at Oxnard College, and am currently enrolled as a full time student. This season in my life has definitely been one of the most challenging ones. I fight with the urge to throw in the proverbial towel because school is hard. I haven’t been a student for too many years. But because of where I am at right now in life, I refuse to do so. One thing about me is that I love challenging myself. I believe that personal growth is an important fundamental for life. If something isn’t growing, then it is dying, that it is just the way life is.


     I believe that my future is what is keeping me going today. Even as I write this blog, I know that this is just one of the many stepping stones that are going to lead me to where I desire to go. My personal dream and career goal is to someday become a social worker of some sort. Ideally, I would love to work with CPS (Child Protective Services). I believe in what they do and I understand how one person can really affect someone’s life. In my own personal experience, I learned that these people can really change the outcome of a family for the good or the bad. So for now I strive for excellence in my pursuit of education and look forward to the hurdles ahead.